Perfectly Imperfect.

Hey guys, I am back and trust me this one will be worth giving your time.

Why do we feel that we are not enough

Is there a way to be perfect?

Do we exactly know what we want?

Being in chaos , being bullied , measuring up yourself up in your own mind.

Its Us.

Unless you came 

Our contrivance

You are perfect.

Perfectly ambitious

Perfect body

Perfect friend

Perfect colleague

Perfect partner

Perfect sister

Perfect daughter

But do I really love you?

Or do I just adore you?

Is it important to be above all 

To feel above all 

Why I can't accept myself?

Why I can't be Perfectly Imperfect 

You .....yes you 

My fancy

Do u belong to me 

Do we belong together 

Will I ever know you 

Searching for you in this unrealistic world seems hard

Or you will just be there...

In the corner of my heart.

I have known to feel this my whole life of being not good enough. As if we all came with this spall enrooted in our mind. Maybe you regularly tell yourself, I am not talented, attractive, or thin enough.

 You realize this painful feeling cultivating inside you, which keeps you disturbed and remains unfulfilling. Instead of attacking yourself with thoughts of being demotivated, failure of not looking the best, this is where it leads to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, eating disorders, and insomnia. 

Here are a few ways which can lead you to the right path.

1. Express your feelings

  When you have thought of being insufficient, accept your emotions, and think of how you can work on them.

2. Love yourself in your bad times.

  The powerful reminder is to love yourself. Whenever you feel you are not enough, love yourself for the things you are perfect. It helps you gain confidence and start over again.

3. When you compare yourself with anyone.

  Self-love is a little bit easier than Self-loathing.❤

Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder

Symptoms 

Feelings of shyness or discomfort in certain situations aren't necessarily signs of social anxiety disorder, particularly in children. Comfort levels in social situations vary, depending on personality traits and life experiences. Some people are naturally reserved and others are more outgoing.

In contrast to everyday nervousness, social anxiety disorder includes fear, anxiety and avoidance that interfere with daily routine, work, school or other activities. Social anxiety disorder typically begins in the early to mid-teens, though it can sometimes start in younger children or in adults.

Emotional and behavioral symptoms

Signs and symptoms of social anxiety disorder can include persistent:

• Fear of situations in which you may be judged
• Worrying about embarrassing or humiliating yourself
• Intense fear of interacting or talking with strangers
• Fear that others will notice that you look anxious
• Fear of physical symptoms that may cause you embarrassment, such as blushing, sweating, trembling or having a shaky voice
• Avoiding doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment
• Avoiding situations where you might be the center of attention
• Having anxiety in anticipation of a feared activity or event
• Enduring a social situation with intense fear or anxiety
• Spending time after a social situation analyzing your performance and identifying flaws in your interactions
• Expecting the worst possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation

For children, anxiety about interacting with adults or peers may be shown by crying, having temper tantrums, clinging to parents or refusing to speak in social situations.

Performance type of social anxiety disorder is when you experience intense fear and anxiety only during speaking or performing in public, but not in other types of social situations.

Physical symptoms

Physical signs and symptoms can sometimes accompany social anxiety disorder and may include:

• Blushing
• Fast heartbeat
• Trembling
• Sweating
• Upset stomach or nausea
• Trouble catching your breath
• Dizziness
• Feeling that your mind has gone blank
• Muscle tension

Avoiding common social situations

Common, everyday experiences that may be hard to endure when you have social anxiety disorder include, for example:

• Interacting with unfamiliar people or strangers
• Attending parties or social gatherings
• Going to work or school
• Starting conversations
• Making eye contact
• Dating
• Entering a room in which people are already seated
• Returning items to a store
• Eating in front of others
• Using a public restroom

Social Anxiety Disorder

Social Anxiety Disorder

The defining feature of social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social or performance situation. People with social anxiety disorder may worry about acting or appearing visibly anxious (e.g., blushing, stumbling over words), or being viewed as stupid, awkward, or boring. As a result, they often avoid social or performance situations, and when a situation cannot be avoided, they experience significant anxiety and distress. Many people with social anxiety disorder also experience strong physical symptoms, such as a rapid heart rate, nausea, and sweating, and may experience full-blown attacks when confronting a feared situation. Although they recognize that their fear is excessive and unreasonable, people with social anxiety disorder often feel powerless against their anxiety. 

Social anxiety disorder can wreak havoc on the lives of those who suffer from it. 

For example, individuals may decline a job opportunity that requires frequent interaction with new people or avoid going out to eat with friends due to a fear that their hands will shake when eating or drinking. Symptoms may be so extreme that they disrupt daily life and
 can interfere significantly with daily routines, occupational performance, or social life, making it difficult to complete school, interview and get a job, and have friendships and romantic relationships. People with social anxiety disorder are also at an increased risk for developing major depressive disorder and alcohol use disorders. 

Despite the availability of effective treatments, fewer than 5% of people of with social anxiety disorder seek treatment in the year following initial onset and more than a third of people report symptoms for 10 or more years before seeking help.

How to handle someone having panic attacks?

• Helping someone with Anxiety or Panic attacks.
• DO,

1. Do remind the person having a panic attack that they are in no way obligated to stay where they are. They can leave if they are panicking about something or feel uncomfortable. Offer them a ride home if necessary after observing the person’s current mental capacity. Absolutely don’t pressure them to do something they don’t want to do.
2. Do assure them there is nothing to be afraid of. Someone experiencing a panic attack will probably find it a lot harder to rationalize the fact that there’s no real reason to be panicking, that’s the sad truth. Remind them they are completely safe and that you are there to help them through this.
3. Do let them know that it’s only temporary. Panic attacks don’t and will never last forever. Despite the terrible mental state the sufferer might be in, it’s comforting to know that it will go away soon.
4. Do encourage them to breathe. Breathing is particularly difficult during a panic attack and someone experiencing it could forget to breathe properly. Tell them to take a deep breath in for four seconds, then let it out for four seconds and repeat. Breathing helps, but it only helps when done correctly.
5. Do attempt to have an engaging conversation with them. Chances are if you’re a friend, you know what piques the person’s interest. Try to casually bring the topic up. Don’t bombard the person in a panic attack with a lengthy conversation as this could be overwhelming, but try to slowly capture their interest and lure them away from the feeling of panic.
6. Do stay with them. If the person panicking wants you to leave, it’s most likely the anxiety talking. More often than not, a panic attack only gets worse if the person is left alone to suffer through their own thoughts. Stay by their side no matter what.

Don’t

1. Don’t let denial fool you. No matter how comfortable I am around a person, if they ask if everything’s okay when they accurately sense something is not, I assure them everything is fine. I imagine many people do the same. Don’t let this fool you. If the symptoms of a panic attack are apparent, treat the situation as such.
2. Don’t tell them to calm down or relax. There’s a huge chance this will only make the anxiety worse. It’s not as simple as being able to “calm down” or “relax” so don’t suggest it.
3. Don’t ask why they’re panicking. The sufferer probably knows just as much as you do in that moment.
4. Don’t brush it off. You might be in the company of someone who is on their 37th panic attack this year alone. Don’t think that by now they’re used to it. Every panic attack is every bit as traumatizing as the previous one. Certainly don’t brush off or ignore any panic attack, no matter what the circumstances are.
5. Don’t bullshit. “Look over there at that bird!” “Stare at me for 10 seconds.” “Close your eyes and picture a nice glowing star.” No, no, and no. Don’t bullshit someone while they’re in a panic attack. None of that works and you know it. The person panicking will be fully aware that you’re trying to distract them temporarily from the panic, which won’t help at all.
6. Don’t seem irritated or judgmental. This sounds obvious, but it’s important. One of my biggest fears is that when I’m having a panic attack, I’m inconveniencing people or people are judging me because they don’t understand what the problem is. Even if you are somewhat annoyed, maintain composure and keep in mind that you are nowhere near as annoyed as the person actually experiencing the panic attack is.

How to reduce Anxiety

Why anxiety can be socially isolating.

Anxiety makes people focus more on themselves and reduces their empathy for others, psychologists have found. The study’s results may help explain why anxiety can be such an isolating emotion. 

You can inherit anxiety from your parents.

The network consists of three regions in the brain which work together to control the fear-response. The study found that around 35% of the difference in anxiety was explained by family history.

Write out your worries and fears

Expressive writing, or writing about difficult emotions that you have about your life or a specific situation, has been found to be beneficial in a wide range of studies.  You set a fixed amount of time, each day, to write out how you feel about difficult things that are going on. This has been shown to help with mild to moderate depression and anxiety, and even improves symptoms of chronic pain. (It may not be helpful immediately after a significantly traumatic event though, experts recommend waiting a month or two for things to settle before using this in that circumstance). It can be very helpful to do before bed if you suffer from insomnia (the kind where anxious thoughts keep you up at night), and can even help you perform better at work-related tasks that you find anxiety-provoking. 

 Get help

If your anxiety is significantly impacting your life and/or relationships, don’t try to white-knuckle it on your own. See your doctor, to assess whether your anxiety might have a medical cause.  If it is purely psychological, expert counseling treatments such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be extremely helpful. I’m a proponent of trying non-pharmaceutical treatments first, but medication can be a lifesaver if you’re drowning in fear and can’t function in your daily life.  It’s unlikely that you would be on it life-long, but for many people it takes the edge off during a season of crisis, so that you’re no longer just trying to survive and are more able to take the necessary steps to get your life back on track.

Anxiety

ANXIETY

It is a general term for several disorders that cause nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worrying. These disorders affect how we feel and behave and can cause physical symptoms. Mild anxiety is vague and unsettling, while severe anxiety can seriously affect day-to-day living.Anxiety is a natural human reaction to stressful situations, but becomes a condition when it frequently occurs without a trigger. When faced with potentially harmful or worrying triggers, feelings of anxiety are not only normal but necessary for survival.

Ever since the earliest days of humanity, the approach of predators and incoming danger has set off alarms in the body and allowed an individual to take evasive action. These alarms become noticeable in the form of a raised heartbeat, sweating, and increased sensitivity to surroundings.

A rush of adrenaline in response to danger causes these reactions. This adrenaline boost is known as the ‘fight-or-flight’ response. It prepares humans to physically confront or flee any threats to safety.

For most modern individuals, running from larger animals and imminent danger is a less pressing concern. Anxieties now revolve around work, money, family life, health, and other crucial issues that demand a person’s attention without necessarily requiring the ‘fight-or-flight’ reaction.

That nervous feeling before an important life event or during a difficult situation is a natural echo of the original ‘fight-or-flight’ reaction. It can still be essential to survival – anxiety about being hit by a car when crossing the street, for example, means that a person will instinctively look both ways to avoid danger.

Anxiety disorder

The duration or severity of an anxious feeling can sometimes be out of proportion to the original trigger, or stress. Physical symptoms, such as increased blood pressure and nausea, may also become evident. These responses move beyond anxiety into an anxiety disorder.Anxiety disorders occur when a reaction is out of proportion to what might normally be expected in a situation. 

BAD PARENTING

How Bad Parenting effects Children? 

Building and maintaining a relationship with a child takes work. Even the most loving parents must put a lot of time and effort into developing positive relationships with their children. Yet parents can still have problems with their children, even if they've done everything they can to avoid them. When problems arise, don't spend time lamenting the broken relationship. Instead, take the necessary steps to fix the problems, and start rebuilding a healthy relationships with your children. Whether the children are four or fourteen, it's not too late to start to make the relationship right...

Inability to have long lasting friendships and relationships.

This mostly happens when the child is not reprimanded or punished for the mistakes they make. The child therefore grows up knowing that he or she is in control and is ever right. He or she becomes a spoilt child who believes that he or she must always have their way in everything. This has negative effects on the relationships that the child gets into. Co existing with others becomes difficult and such a child is more likely to make more enemies than friends.

 Causes psychological disorders.

This happens especially of the child grows up in a family where there is a lot of abuse whether physical or emotional. This also occurs when a child suffers from neglect as a child. Such children may have difficulty in making friend and trusting people as they find it easier to push people away than to open up.

Depression and low self esteem.

A child who is never allowed to make decisions, and who is constantly criticized, belittled and who goes through abuse is likely to have low self esteem. It becomes worse when the child goes through sexual abuse as a child. Such forms of abuse are also known to make children more prone to violent behaviors. Children who are exposed to abuse and violence  are likely to become violent people. They grow up believing that violence is the only way to solve issues. 

Lack of Respect

Children who do not respect their parents often show their lack of respect by failing to obey their parents or showing a disregard for their emotions and feelings. This lack of respect may transfer to a child's self-respect, causing him to make bad choices. It may also transfer to how a child respects others, making him treat others poorly. While sometimes a lack of respect simply comes as kids begin to rely less on their parents and more on the world, parents can continue to foster a sense of respect by:

• Setting rules and following up with reasonable consequences.
• Showing respect to their children.
• Modeling respect when interacting with others.
• Parenting with confidence; make a decision and stick to it.

Lack of Trust

Parents whose children have made a host of mistakes or who regularly engage in dishonest behaviors may have difficulty trusting their children. In order to rebuild trust in their children, parents need to give them a chance to demonstrate they are worthy of that trust. To build trust, parents should:

• Teach children the importance of being honest.
• Create a plan to help rebuild lost trust.
• React positively when children tell the truth, even if they share negative information.

Lack of Communication

A lack of communication can be one of the most frustrating problems for both parents and children. Parents feel like their children don't listen to a word they say, while children feel like their parents don't understand them or never take the time to listen. When this happens, instead of working harder to communicate, parents and kids often stop communicating entirely, leading to anger, sadness and a host of other negative emotions.

Causes of Teenage Suicide

CAUSES OF TEENAGE SUICIDE...

Causes of teenage suicide can be difficult to pinpoint and may involve several factors. Teens go through a vulnerable period at this stage in their lives. No matter how small or big their problems, their troubles may feel unbearable or overwhelming. Noticeable changes in behavior, such as withdrawal from friends and family or violent and aggressive behavior, are among the many signs of potential teen suicide, but parents and mental health care providers also need to understand the causes of suicide in teens for effective prevention.

MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT

Suffering through a major disappointment such as rejection, loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend and failure at school or in sports may trigger suicidal tendencies in teens, who have difficulty coping with these kinds of situations. These circumstances alone may not be responsible for suicide, but they are factors that contribute to a teen's taking extreme measures. 

STRESS
Stress, confusion, pressure and worries about self-worth are common problems in many teens that can trigger suicide. Teens may have to go through parental divorce, moving in with a new family, living in a new location or going to a different school. In some cases, teens may be victims of physical or sexual abuse. These are unsettling matters that intensify uncertain feelings such as distress, anxiety or agitation. 

DEPRESSION
Depression is a major cause of suicide that can be present in the teenagers years. This mental disorder can cause feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. Depression can be particularly harmful for teens who experience violence at home or at school and feel isolated from their peers or lack a social network of friends.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE
Drug or alcohol abuse can lead to impulsive behavior, especially if a teen is haunted by other problems such as a mental disorder or family difficulties. Like adults who turn to alcohol or drugs, teens may believe that substance abuse will bring them relief from surrounding difficulties , but it only worsens the problems . Substance abuse and mental disorders play prominent roles in a majority of suicides. 

SUICIDE!!

About Teen Suicide

The reasons behind a teen's suicide or attempted suicide can be complex. Although  suicide is relatively rare among children , the rate of suicides and suicide attempts increases greatly during adolescence. Suicide is the third- leading cause of death for 15 to 24 years old. It's also thought that at last 25 attempts are made for every completed teen suicide. 

Suicide rates differ between boys and girls. Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys, and tend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves. Yet boys die by suicide about four times as often girls, perhaps because they tend to use more life-threatening methods, such as firearms, hanging, or jumping from heights. 

Factors that increase the risk of suicide among teens: 

• a psychological disorder, especially depression, bipolar disorder, and alcohol and drugs use(in fact, about 95% of people who die by suicide have a psychological disorder at the time of death)
• feeling of distress, irritability, or agitation 
• feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that often accompany depression
• emotional, physical, or sexual abuse
• lack of support, poor relationships with parents or peers, and feelings of social isolation 

Warning Signs:

Suicide among teens often happens after a stressful life event , such as problems at school, a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the death of a loved one or a major family conflict. 

Teens who are thinking about suicide might: 

• talk about suicide or death in general
•  give hints that they might no be around anymore
• talk about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
• pull away from friends or family
• write songs, poems, or letters about death, separation, and loss
• lose the desire to take in favorite things or activities
• have trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
• lose interest in school or sports

What Can Parents Do?

Many teens who commit or attempt suicide have give some type of warning to loved ones ahead of time. So it's important for parents to know the warning signs so teens who might be suicidal can get the help they need.
Some adults feel that kids who say that they are going to hurt themselves are"just doing it for attention." It;s important to realize that if teens are ignored when seeking attention, it may increase the chance of them harming themselves(or worse). 
It;s important to try to keep the lines of communication open  and express your concern, support, and love. If your teen confides in you, show that you take those concerns seriously. 

Controlling Aggression in Adolescents

There are lot of causes to why adolescents get easily and more aggressive in this age. And to these there are lot of solutions of controlling aggression. Is your teenager showing signs of aggression at home? Well, you are not alone. Many parents complain about their adolescent children, claiming they are quite aggressive, be it at home or outside.

Teenage years are filled with physical and chemical changes. This creates confusion and uncertainty in the minds of teenagers. Furthermore, during this stage, teenagers begin reassessing their role in the society and family. All these factors together could result in aggressive outbursts among adolescents, who do not know how to vent or channelize their confusion . 

TRAUMATIC EVENT:

Death or illness of a loved one, divorce or extreme sibling and peer harassment is extremely stressful and can lead to aggression in teenagers. Even ongoing fights and discord in the family, especially among parents, can cause such a behavior. 

ABUSE:

Physical or sexual abuse is another reason fr aggressive behavior among teenagers.

• This abuse makes them feel angry , inadequate and ashamed.
• Because they are unable to tell anyone about the abuse, it manifests in the form of aggression.
  

PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS:

Some teenagers may suffer from psychiatric disorders, such as:

• Bipolar disorder
• Panic disorder
• Schizophrenia
• Depression

All these disorders cause aggressive behavior.

ADDICTION AND ABUSE:

Many teenagers experiment with drugs and alcohol. However, when they become addicted or start abusing alcohol and drug regularly, it can lead to aggressive behavior.

PEER PRESSURE:

Teenagers learn to be accepted and become part of group. If this does not happen, it can cause pain and anger, leading to aggressive behavior.

LOW SELF- ESTEEM:

Some adolescents have low self-esteem and try to cover this up through aggression. This especially true when they are among their peers.

4 Solutions To Teenage Aggression:

COUNSELING:

Take your teenager for individual counseling.

• Talking to trained and licensed professional is recommended.
• This can make your adolescent take responsibility for their behavior and also resolve problems with their relationships.

FAMILY COUNSELING:

It could be a good idea to involve the whole family in counseling.

• Talking to another and being guided by professional and trained therapists can be extremely helpful.
• This can resolve conflicts and relationship problems that are causing aggressive behavior in your teenager.

HOUSE RULES:

Create a set of house rules that your adolescents have to follow whether they like it or not. 

• Make the rules clear. 
• Also let your teenager know that he or she will have to bear with the consequences, if the rules are broken.

RELAXATION TECHNIQUES:

Teach  relaxation techniques to your teenagers to cope with their stress.

• If your teenager is burdened with homework or experiences extreme peer pressure, this will be quite useful.
• Also, in turn, this will ease aggressive behaviors.
• Teach them to use the techniques when they get angry and stressed.

Changes and problems faced by Adolescents

HOW TO DEAL WITH COMMON PROBLEMS OF ADOLESCENCE...

Adolescence is not an easy time for kids or parents. The only way to deal with needs and problems at this age is to know about them and be ready to face them. Here is our list of the most common changes, problems and solutions that adolescents have to deal with.

PHYSICAL CHANGES

Physical changes happen due to change in the teenager's hormone levels.

• Development of full breasts in girls can be awkward in the beginning. Girls may start to feel conscious about their figure.
• Change of voice and appearance of facial hair in boys is perhaps the most prominent change that takes place during adolescence. 
• Acne is one of the major problems.
• The growth of pubic hair in girls and boys.

SOLUTION:

The best way you can do to help your teenager get through the stage is to make them aware of these changes.

• Explain that it is normal for the body to change as every teenager goes through it...!
• Help them adapt to these changes- acknowledge the change and help them accept it .
• Enable them to stay healthy and fit through a nutritious diet and exercise.
  

EMOTIONAL CHANGES AND PROBLEMS

Hormones affect teenagers just not physically but also emotionally.

• Adolescence is the age between adulthood and childhood.Teenagers are often confused about their role and are torn between their responsibilities as growing adults and their desires as children. 
• They tend to feel overly emotional( blame it on hormones). Just about anything and everything can make them happy , exited, mad or angry.
• Adolescent girls are vulnerable to crying.
• Mood swings are common among teenage boys and girls.
• Feelings of inferiority or superiority may rise at this time.

SOLUTION:

Puberty can be an emotional roller-coaster ride. And it is normal. Here is how can help your kid deal with these emotional problems of adolescence.

• Assist them to take care of themselves. Tell your teenagers that it is okay to feel the way they are feeling.
• Encourage them to exercise as physical activity helps keep their good feelings and happiness levels up.
• Let them talk. Listen to them without judging and avoid giving them advice when they are not ready for it.
• Share your experiences of puberty or let them talk to an older sibling who has gone through the same.
  

BEHAVIORAL CHANGES

Overwhelming emotions can lead to impulsive behavior, which can be harmful to your child as well as others. Mostly, it is just teen behavior that will last as long their adolescence.

• Adolescence is the time when kids develop and exercise their independence. This can give rise to questioning and being argumentative or being being stubborn i.e. standing up for what they believe is right.
• As a part of their new - found independence, adolescents may also want to try new things and take risks, resulting in careless behavior. 
• Sometimes , peer pressure and the need to 'fit in' can make them behave in a certain way or develop certain habits that are hard to break.
• The most troubling behavior is perhaps your teen hanging out with problem kids and adapting to a dangerous lifestyle.
• Lying is one of the common teen behavioral issues. Teens may lie to avoid confrontation with parents or out of fear.

SOLUTION:

• Behavioral problems in adolescence can make life difficult for parents. But remember that it is a passing phase, and is entirely normal.
• Gaining your child's trust is important if you want to help him with behavioral issues. Talk to them and listen to what they have to say. Do not judge or criticize them, as it could worsen their behavior.
• Let them know that you love them just as they are. Encourage them to be true to themselves and not take on a personality just to please others. 
• You will have to intervene if you see them falling into bad company.Remember that adolescents are sensitive and may not take criticism well.
  

You may have been a teenager yourself. But once you become a parent to a teen, you seem clueless. Think about it- your adolescent is at an age that you have already been through. Be empathetic and try to understand what your child is going through. That makes dealing with their problems easier. 

Do you have any tips on how to deal with adolescence problems? Tell me about in comment section.